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Working to make peace in Cyprus, one teen at a time

By Erik Alsgaard
UMConnection Staff

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It might not seem strange to see two17-year old girls playing and swimming together at a pool party. Th is sort of thing happens all the time in summer.

But it is an extremely unusual sight if you know the history of separation between these two girls – Dize Kibrisli and Meropi Zymaridi – and that they are from opposite sides of Cyprus. In knowing their history, you come to appreciate what is really going on in cool waters on a scorching July day in the gently rolling hills of Potomac, Maryland.

Meet “pool diplomacy.”

The island nation of Cyprus is a country divided. Since 1974, Cypriots have been forced to live apart, needing passports to visit sections deemed off - limits by one side or the other.

Northern Cyprus is an area controlled by Turkey and predominantly Muslim  Southern Cyprus is controlled by Greece and is predominantly Christian. In between, the United Nations patrols a border, keeping an uneasy peace.

Depending on whom you ask, Turkey either invaded the north in 1974 following a military coup, or it came to the rescue of its people. Either way, prejudice runs deep. Children learn early and often to foster hatred and anger against the “others.”

The Cyprus Friendship Program (CFP) is hoping to change that, one child at a time. Breaking down those barriers – both real and imagined – is the goal of CFP, which pairs teenagers between 15 and 17 years old from the north and the south with the goal of forming relationships that will build peace.

“We went to a pool party and met lots of people I didn’t know before,” said Kibrisli. “It was a chance to get closer to people.”

Kibrisli, who is from the north, said that she wants to make peace in her home country. “We don’t have a chance to meet many southern people,” she said. “I have very few relationships with anyone in the south. I need a passport just to visit areas of my own country.”

Zymaridi, who is from the south and paired with Kibrisli this summer, said that many of her best friends back home had doubts about her doing CFP. “Both sides blame the other” for what has happened, she said.

Don and Sarah Fish are host parents in the program, and both are members at Potomac UMC, which is a partner with CFP. They both see hosting as part of their peace-making work.

“It’s important to see that the kids enjoy the same thing,” said Don. “It helps break down the stereotypes.”

“In the church, we often sing ‘Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me,’” said Sarah Fish. “After being involved with CFP, that song now has a new impact on me.”

Sarah said that doing peace work can often be difficult, but that by hosting two students from Cyprus for two weeks, she is doing her part.

Kim Belvin, another host parent, would agree. This is her third year serving as a host family. The CFP has all the advantages of a short-time exchange program, she said, noting that by being a host family she feels she’s helping to promote peace and reconciliation in the world.

For Belvin, one eye-opening moment came when she realized that many of the teens in the CFP had not informed friends back home of what they were doing in the United States. The teens, she added, were afraid of the peer pressure – of being shunned.

“Peace will be solved by these youth in these countries,” Sarah Fish said. “Not so much by the politicians, not so much by the government or the military. But by these youth, as they grow up, as they recognize and become aware of one another.”

“It’s really not that tough” being a host family, said Don Fish. “We open our house and let them be part of the family for two weeks. In the difficult world of peacemaking, this is kind of easy.”

The kids, he said, “take all the risk.”

“They are stepping out of their comfort zones and choosing to see the enemy as friend. The results of their actions could be isolation, both personally and from their friends,” said the Rev. Ann Laprade, pastor at Potomac UMC. “The teens involved in CFP show great courage.”

However, Laprade said, they also understand what’s at stake.

“They get it,” she said, “and that’s exciting to watch. They’re articulate, they see the need, and they see the practical side of building peace. War is such a waste. It’s in everybody’s best interest to build peace.”

Laprade said that the program doesn’t stop with the four-weeks in Maryland; peace-making and risktaking continue once they return home.

“We support them in their risktaking,” she said. “We come along side them.”

CFP provides plenty of opportunity for the teens to meet and become aware of each other. From social outings like pool parties, to classroom sessions at the Potomac UMC, to speaking in front of local civic groups, to living together with host families, these Cypriot teens are changed individuals when their four-week visit to the United States is done.

Laprade said that for her congregation, where she has served for eight years, the CFP was a natural fit.

“The DNA of this church is one of reaching across divides,” she said, noting that the church’s history records events going back to Civil War days, when soldiers of both the Confederacy and the Union worshipped together. “The vision of this church was embedded by God, and my job is to make it real. We have a strong history of hospitality and sowing the seeds of peace.

“When those two meet – vision and DNA – it’s a very good thing.”

Laprade’s husband, Tom McCarthy, is the Maryland/DC Coordinator for CFP. The program operates in five locations around the United States. This year, there are 14 teens from Cyprus in Maryland. “Personally, Tom and I, we’re both committed to the same goal of making peace,” said Laprade. “This brings us together around a common issue.”

It has also been good for the church. Laprade said that not only has the church grown spiritually through being exposed to the program, but the church is developing relationships in the community and in the connection. This year, for example, Laprade said that two teens also are being hosted by families from Chevy Chase UMC.

“We have a biblical mandate, and a call from our bishop, to sow the seeds of peace,” said Laprade. “The Cyprus Friendship Program allows us to do that.”

The number of host families has doubled this year, the pastor said, and many more people have stepped up financially to support the cost of bringing teens overseas. According to the CFP brochure, it costs about $6,000 for airfare and insurance for two teenagers to participate. The teens’ family contributes about half, with the rest made up from donations.

Is all this really worth it?

“Our hope is that Cyprus has a chance to be a place of peace-making in the Middle East,” said Laprade. “The last thing the world needs is an island where Christians and Muslims begin warfare.”

For more information on the Cyprus Friendship Project, visit http://cyprusfriendship.org/.