| Surviving loss and reclaiming life as a victim of violent crime  BY SALLY RANSOM KNECHT Murder is a violent, senseless act of one person toward another as the perpetrator takes what is wanted at any cost. When a loved one is hurt or killed as a victim of violence your whole world comes crashing down. How do I know? Ive been there. Although it has been 16 years since my husband, the Rev. Lewis F. Ransom, was gunned down in a Baltimore robbery, the flashback and the associated pain sometimes make it seem like it happened yesterday. Today, the violence continues, especially in our cities. Old and young alike are affected. The church must be instrumental in curing this evil in society. The recent rise in violence in our area is a call to action. In addition to addressing the causes of violence, the church must respond to the victims. We all know the stages of grief: shock, denial, anger and acceptance, or as I prefer to express it, acknowledgement. Anger can be a productive thing if it is well directed. God understands our anger. Remember, when Gods own Son was crucified, the earth shook, the wind blew, there was thunder and lightning. And about forgiveness? If there is repentance on the part of the perpetrator, which means taking responsibility for what happened and being willing to change behavior, then forgiveness is possible. However, every act of violence carries with it a price that must be paid. Forgiveness is between the perpetrator and God. I will never forgive the act of my husbands murderer, but I will reclaim my power and accept who I am today and take responsibility for my life. Healing is a matter of the victim no longer letting the experience dominate her life. It is letting go, moving on and reclaiming power. How can the clergy and church help? First by being present, then getting the necessary assistance of other professionals; walking with the victim through the judicial system, which can re-victimize and frustrate the victim; offering spiritual and practical assistance; and equipping clergy and religious leaders through training events. In some instances, churches like Towson UMC, provide meeting space and encouragement. As the church so rightly ministers to those incarcerated and to their families, it needs to look for better ways to support crime victims and their families. How does one survive the ordeal of violence? For me it was family, friends, a supportive church family, clergy colleagues and a strong faith to hold on to that kept me sustained through the ordeal. I dont know how people cope without a faith to lean on as they go through the pain, months of investigation, arrest, trial and parole hearings. Some find their way back to God during this time. For those who never know who did the crime, there is no feeling of justice and closure is most difficult. In 1988, part of my goal was to do what I could do to make it better for others in similar situations. Out of this resolve, I established a support group in cooperation with the Baltimore State Attorneys office and under the Victim Witness Unit. For the next 10 years I led this group as people shared their stories, expressed their grief, learned about the judicial matters they were facing and supported each other in very personal ways. When you have been in a similar situation, you understand the pain, the depression, anger and the hope for healing. Today, through the efforts of other survivors, there are support groups throughout the state and country. These brave people have been responsible for new legislation affecting crime, victim service providers positions to assist victims, restitution funds, court accompaniment and education seminars. The aftermath of crime and the healing process is a personal thing. It is different for each person. However, some of the things that help include a forum for sharing, keeping a scrapbook, establishing a scholarship for young people, making memorial gifts, supporting legislation, celebrating anniversaries, helping others deal with feelings and just carrying out the simple routine of life. Pain is felt in the heart, but the heart is a big place. It is important to remember: you will make it. You will survive. You must reach for life, maybe not today but someday. As the forest reclaims itself after a fire with new growth, so our lives can flourish again. The true treasure of the love of God is steadfast and never lost. So may it be. Sally Ransom Knecht is a member of Towson UMC. | 
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