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BY ROD MILLER

Connection.  We use this word often and ascribe to it a wide array of meanings. What does connection mean to you?  We are more connected now than ever considering the reach of cell phones and social media. We are in touch with people around the world through skype and messaging  so that training and pastoral care can be offered in real time in the moment anywhere and anytime.  In the United Methodist Church, connection refers to the core understanding that our churches and ministries are all woven together in an amazing way in the “Connection” which we call United Methodism.  Organizational aspects to connection offer images of being in touch with people and needs whenever  and wherever we choose.

There is another aspect of connection which is based in relationship.  Whenever we meet someone, we have choices about how we will connect.  Because of increasing demands on everyone’s time, the nature of that connection may be left to an exchange of information.  And ironically while there is so much information coming in, one common result is a burgeoning  need for authentic  personal connection.  In a recent article in the Washington Post, Dr. Manoj Jain, an infectious disease specialist in Memphis, comments that “patients should be able to expect compassion from their doctors.  Compassion and communication skills are part of good bedside manner.  Yet expressing compassion has been a challenge… with uncertainties in health care, increased work load and limited time, for many the joy in the work is lost and this comes across in doctor-patient relationships.”   (Washington Post, May 16, 2011)  Compassion, which is an expression of caring connection, may be one unfortunate consequence of the need to work differently - to see more patients and to be more efficient. 

While the need and the difficulty of expressing  compassion is being debated in medical circles, it should be a regular topic of conversation and exploration in the church.  For the tendency is for connection to be squeezed  out of our encounters in church and wherever we are as well.

There is so much on everyone’s plate that we in the church are finding it harder and harder to take time to connect.  There needs to be a balance of being (connection) and doing (action) in the church so that congregations will have the capacity and the spiritual awareness to cultivate environments of transformation and disciple making.   

Connection is more than the sharing of information in a Bible Study, a church meeting or a casual conversation in the hall.   Connecting is: meeting someone where they are in this moment;  asking open ended questions; being curious; and being willing to share about something that matters.    We need to be exploring, equipping and supporting each other in becoming better at connecting.  Rather than a luxury to be included if there is time, it carries the potential to make all the difference in someone’s life. 

Connection carries the seeds of transformation.  When we label connection as “touchy feely” we miss the potential that brief moments of connection can have to open someone to what more there is in their life.  For connection takes us out of the mundane and the usual, and launches us into a place where wonder, grace, trust, gratitude, and joy reside.  Connection is the surprise we get in realizing something about ourselves, about another person, or about God that we would not have discovered  on our own. When connection is engaged, Spirit flows.

For the past several months, I have been experimenting with connection.  What I am finding is that we can learn to connect quickly and deeply when we focus on it.   Rather than the amount of time, the quality of the time spent makes the difference.  We need to be intentional about connection just as we are about taking action. Now here is the thing.  To really connect with another person, we need to be present, to listen, and to allow the conversation to go where it will.  While we will have a hope or desire for what will take place in connection, it  cannot be controlled or forced.  When we allow it, connection will take on a life of its own. It is what is co-created in an  I-Thou relationship, as Martin Buber pointed out in his book by the same name.

Connection also takes us out of ourselves and into the larger world.  People everywhere are yearning for connection.  One clear message in the Washington Post article is that connection can make all of the difference when we are in a vulnerable place.  Couldn’t we say the same thing about the power of connection in whatever state people are in at any given moment?

I suggest that connection is what the church has to offer the world today.  It can’t be bought or earned nor is it self-generated.  It comes through relationship. This is what it is to love God and others as we love ourselves.  And it comes particularly through relationship that is bathed in the Spirit and fueled by the incarnation of Jesus Christ in us and in the world.  For in Christ we are a new creation.  This is connection.  And it is the very connection that the world needs now.  Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you? (2 Cor. 13:5). When we connect as we are invited to do, people experience Christ in the relationship.  Let us offer Christ through our connections wherever we are and so be the church we are called to be in the world.

Practices:

1.Choose someone with whom you are in connection.  Each of you answer the question – ‘on a scale of 1-10 – how connected would you say we are? And what would help us co-create a stronger connection?’

2. Now ask – how open or safe or courageous can each of us be in this connection?

3.  Be aware of your listening.  Recall a recent connection.  Did you really listen to the other person – or were you listening more for what you wanted to say without really hearing them?