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By Melissa Lauber

In the beginning, there was nothing, says comedian Ellen DeGeneres telling the creation story. 'Then God said, ?Let there be light!? And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.'

This audacious, all-important light that God created feels like it is at the center of our faith. Especially in this season, when wise men followed the light of a star and discovered in its glow a manger that held a Messiah who would transform the world.

Churches shine at this time of year. We literally sparkle with some of our best stories, songs, decorations and pageantry. But then, sometimes too, God gets in the way, calling us to reflect light that transcends the tinsel and illuminates the corners of one another?s souls.

When this happens, congregations, or individuals, have their own epiphanies that are often less than merry and bright.

They experienced this in mid-December at Salem UMC in Keedysville where the community was shaken by the death of three teenage boys in a fire. The deaths came in the wake of the death of a 37-year-old faithful member of Salem who died at Advent, leaving behind her husband and two sons, ages 10 and 4.

The church had helped take care of the family during the woman?s illness. More than 700 people filed through the church to mark her passing.

The church?s pastor, the Rev. Malcolm Stranathan, celebrates how the congregation lived in connection with one another during the suffering and grief. 'Salem?s hospitality truly shined these past few weeks,' he wrote in an e-mail.

'But all the same, there have been too many deaths in so short a time. We?re feeling a bit shell shocked and yet still proclaim good news during the lengthening nights.'

Stranathan closed with hopes for peace and the phrase 'seeking answers to too many questions?'

Carol Berman of St. John?s UMC of Baltimore City also is feeling frustrated as she seeks to be a disciple. St. John?s runs a seasonal homeless

shelter in the basement of the church.

This year, because of budget constraints the shelter has had to scale back to two nights a week.

In a conference with 694 churches, Berman would like to believe Baltimore?s homeless could find a warm place to spend the night. She is not opposed to prosperity, but believes it should be shared and wonders about some people?s priorities.

Esther Reaves agrees. Reaves, a United Methodist, is executive director of Manna House, one of Baltimore?s five major soup kitchens, which feeds between 150 and 200 meals every morning Monday through Saturday.

According to Reaves, the Jan. 30, 2005, census conducted in Baltimore City estimates that there are 2,943 men, women and children homeless on any given night. Citywide there are 772 year-round shelter beds. Only a miniscule number of these are set aside for women with children.

But Baltimore isn?t alone. In almost every city in the United States, the country?s mayors say, the need for shelter has risen six percent; and on average, 18 percent of requests for emergency food and 14 percent for emergency shelter were unmet last year.

It is a lot to say grace over.

I know this darkness is not limited to any time or place. In Matthew, where shortly after the Wise Men walked into Scripture, Herod ordered the murder of all the male infants in Bethlehem.

For some of us, the slaughter of the innocents casts shadows over the light of Christmas joy. The suffering can be glaring.

This holiday season, though, I was lucky enough to have a contemplative council director roaming the halls of the Conference Center one evening.

He reminded me that God is present in the shadows and makes them holy. Light, he instructed, is meaningless without darkness. If we offer the darkness inside of us, the things that separate us from the divine, to God in living sacrifice, light can be born. Light can be made to dance. Light can illuminate a whole new way of being in this world.

There is a purpose for the killing of the innocents to be present in the Christmas story, he said.

As the church goes through the Christian season, we must be mindful of those to whom we deny the fullness of life. We must recognize the people whom we cut off from living the lives that God intends. Who do we wrong? And as disciples of the One born under that star, how do we offer new life? There must be intention, and with it, response.

Malcolm Stranathan, Carol Berman and Esther Reaves are all responding, living as light-bearers. That doesn?t make the darkness any brighter, but it does make it more habitable. It makes room for God.

From them I learn, disciples aren?t supposed to offer all the answers. They are supposed to offer each other light. And it was good.