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by David C. thayer

I am writing in tribute to a dear friend and colleague of mine, the Rev. Susan Thomas-Azud, and the legacy I believe she left behind for the clergy of the Baltimore-Washington Conference.

Susan died last month. We met in seminary, at Duke Divinity School, some 28 years ago. In those days in this annual conference, it was hard to establish friendships outside the network of Wesley Seminary alumni, so Susan and I became buddies.

Each year we met for lunch at the annual conference. Behind our lunch meetings, I believe was the Charles Wesley hymn, 'And are we yet alive/and see each other's face?' Susan and I were always impressed and amazed with each other that we had survived another year in ministry and that we were 'yet alive,' both spiritually and physically. During those brief but gracious lunches, our conversations often revolved around our families and church life, but also around the general loneliness of ministerial life.

We lamented how ministry was at times so very lonely, not only in our parishes but also in the annual conference. We dreamed of how we could overcome this for our brothers and sisters in the conference, and for ourselves. I don't know how to solve the problem of loneliness for the clergy in the annual conference ? perhaps it is not a problem for some. But for me, loneliness and depression are two burdens that seem to come with ministry, not only for me but also for my spouse.

Though today many of our closest friends are found in our parish at St. Andrew's, and that may be the case for many other clergy, we yearn also for closer ties to brothers and sisters serving in the church.

Susan, by her wonderfully warm and spiritual friendship (she was Charismatic/Catholic/Methodist all rolled up into one), is a reminder of our need to not only simply be acquaintances in the conference, but true friends. How do we do this?

I don't know.

The elders and deacons struggle with what it means to become an 'order.' Maybe 'friends' would be a better word than order. After all, Jesus called us friends, not orders.

Maybe we should establish some ways for us to get together to establish closer ties, not by hashing out theology, as fun as that is, but by having chances to become friends. Maybe our theological and social struggles in the annual conference over all those troubling controversial issues would finally find some peace in our friendship with each other.

Susan's friendship has given me a calling and a precious legacy to see how I might establish friendship as the hallmark of true discipleship.

This May's annual conference session will be awfully different for me, and when we sing 'And are we yet alive/and see each other's face,' there will be a poignancy that will be deep and painful. But Susan, with her wonderful ability to befriend, has given me a call to help others who might be lonely to become friends.

How do we do this? Let's talk over lunch some day.

God bless you Susan, my dear friend, and may perpetual light shine upon you.

The Rev. David E. Thayer is senior pastor of St. Andrew's UMC in Annapolis.