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BY MELISSA LAUBER
UMCONNECTION STAFF

In November, churches are being encouraged to observe National Family Caregiver?s Month. While the practice of caring for infirm family members is as old as time, the dynamics of family caregivers are changing.

Although they usually just call themselves 'loving wives,' or 'obedient sons,' one in every five adults in the United States is now a family caregiver, spending a significant portion of their lives providing care and often medical attention to loved ones, the National Family Caregivers Association reports on its Web site.

According to the American Association of Geriatric Psychiatry, in Maryland, Washington, D.C., and West Virginia, 760,671 adults spent 815 million hours in 2003 caring for family members.

Most of these people expected their caregiving services to last only a year or two. However, the average length of time spent on care giving is closer to eight years, with one-third of the caregivers providing assistance for a decade or more.

While most claim to provide this care willingly, the toll can sometimes add up. Family caregivers have higher rates of depression and stress-related conditions and, among the six in 10 family caregivers who are employed, many feel compelled to alter their work lives by staying at home more often.

In Montgomery County, Marcia Rose Fuoss leads a county program to address the needs of family caregivers.

Begun last January, the Telephone Reassurance for Caregivers Program connects 25 caregivers with volunteers who call them once a week to talk for approximately 20 minutes. The volunteers are trained, effective listeners.

Many caregivers begin to feel isolated, Fuoss said. 'They face a lot of challenges and often risk their own health needs. Many say these calls are the bright moments of the week.'

Knowing that she makes such a difference delights Fuoss, who attends Grace UMC in Gaithersburg and Salem UMC in Brookeville. She sees connecting with others as an essential part of her faith journey.

In 1995, she graduated from Wesley Theological Seminary, intending to become a pastor in the Virginia Conference. Today, she transfers that sense of call into her work with the Telephone Reassurance Program.

'Whatever I do is ministry,' she said. 'I?d like to think serving God is part of everything I do. It?s my reason to be.'

Unfortunately, Fuoss acknowledges, the church does not always do the best job of caring for one another.

One caregiver got a call from someone from her church, said Fuoss. The church woman called to ask if the caregiver needed anything. But she didn?t entirely hang up the phone before continuing another conversation, and the caregiver heard her say, 'Well good, that?s done. Do you want to have salmon for lunch?'

The caregiver laughs about it, but we all want to be more than something on someone?s to-do list, Fuoss said.

For churches that want to help, Fuoss recommends programs that take caregivers seriously and assist them in adding Sabbath to their lives.

The National Family Caregivers Association recommends a variety of measures for churches wishing to minister to caregivers. They include:

? praying not just for the sick, but also for those who tend to their needs;

? identifying specific needs of caregivers within the community, (such as transportation or help with insurance paperwork) and organize a network that can help those needs be met;

? provide events that might give caregivers a break from the daily duties and be renewed;

? listen.

In listening to caregivers and helping to train the volunteers in Montgomery County, Fuoss said, she had 'learned to respond to the whole process of life. It?s all in God?s hands,' she said. 'Even in the worst, God?s grace is there. I so much believe in grace.'

To learn more about Montgomery County?s Telephone Reassurance for Caregivers program call (240) 777-2600. For more about National Family Caregiver?s Month see www.nfcacares.org.