| Divorce: Hot topic for todays singers  BY STEVE BEARD A new generation of rock n roll songwriters has become the chronicler of an old problem: the effects of divorce and parental abandonment upon children. Pop star Pink describes her childhood as anything but a celebration on Missundaztood, her new album. You fight about money, bout me and my brother/And this I come home to, this is my shelter/It aint easy growin up in World War III/Never knowin what love could be, youll see/I dont want love to destroy me like it has done to my family, she sings in Family Portrait. Pinks lyrics touch a raw nerve in a generation that grew up with ringside seats to divorce and abandonment. While their parents were singing songs of protest about foreign wars and civil rights, a new breed of songwriters relates more closely to the combat zone of their homes. Rock songwriters who experienced divorce at an early age include Creeds Scott Stapp (father left at age 5), Koms Jonathan Davis (parents divorced at age 3), Linkin Parks Chester Bennington (mother left at age 11), Slipknots Corey Taylor, and Eminem. The anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years/Rather than fix the problem they never solve it; it makes no sense at all/I see them every day; we get along so why cant they? asks Blink l82s Tom DeLonge on Stay Together for the Kids, found on their latest album. The normally whimsical DeLonge wrote the song about the devastation he experienced as an l8-year-old when his parents got divorced. Bandmate Mark Hoppus experienced the same when he was in the third grade. We get e-mails about Stay Together, kid after kid after kid saying, I know exactly what youre talking about! That song is about my life! DeLonge told Blender magazine. You look at statistics that 50 percent of parents get divorced, and youre going to get a pretty large group of kids who dont agree with what their parents have done. Is this a damaged generation? he asks. Yeah, Id say so. Roland Warren, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative, says these lyrics make a strong case for keeping marriages intact. They are clearly articulating that (divorce) affects these kids, that it hurts them deeply, and there are consequences to whats been happening. Books like Judith Wallersteins The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce contend there are long-lasting effects upon the children of broken marriages, and the eruption of songs chronicling the pain of divorce provide anecdotal evidence to support that thesis. Nickelbacks singer-songwriter Chad Kroeger was 2 when his father abandoned the family. In the hit song Too Bad, he sings: You left without saying goodbye/Although Im sure you tried/You call and ask from time to time/To make sure were still alive/But you werent there right when Im needing you most. Theres a hole in the soul of every kid in the shape of their fathers, and for about 40 years in social policy weve been trying to fill that hole with lots of other things: money, quality time, mentors, says Warren of the National Fatherhood Initiative. These things are important and they all certainly have their role, but what is clear here is not only that these artists are saying this, but were finding this also when you communicate with kids that arent famous. They long for family and they mourn the fact that they didnt have a family. The band Good Charlotte from Annapolis has been capturing the attention of the MTV crowd with their punchy pop-punk songs. On their debut album, songwriting twins Benji and Joel Madden describe the stark way in which their father walked out on the family on Christmas Eve. But they also praise their mother. Ill always thank you/More than you could know/Than I could ever show, they sing in Thank you, Mom. Theres nothing I wont do to say these words to you/That youre beautiful forever/You were my mom, you were my dad! And even when the times got hard you were there to let/Us know that wed get through. This commentary is excerpted from the Oct. 4 Washington Times. Steve Beard is editor-in-chief of Good News, a United Methodist magazine. | 
Login/Register to leave comment