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By Linda Worthington
UMConnection Staff

Remembering that March is Women’s History month, about 50 women and a few men gathered at the Conference Mission Center March 16 to explore “Secrets of Survival,” the stressors and de-stressors in their lives, planned by the Conference Commission on the Status and Role of Women (COSROW).

Bishop Marcus Matthews started the ball rolling recalling that March 3 marked the 100^th anniversary of the Women’s March on Washington, demanding the right to vote. He noted that 66 percent of the professing members of the conference are women. There are 232 female Elders and 25 female Deacons, making up 34 percent of the clergy. He pointed out that two history-setting women were in the room: the Rev. Carol Yokum who was the first female graduate of Wesley Seminary; and Sandy Ferguson, the first laywoman to head the Connectional Ministries (and its predecessor agencies). “BWC has paved the way,” he said.

“Clergywomen still have challenges,” he said. “We’re doing what we can to place them according to their gifts.”

Another view of women in the church – this time lay women – was dramatized with humor and insight by Peg Arnold, a lay woman from Poolesville, known throughout the conference and outside the state. She burst into the room, speaking loudly, demanding attention, and interrupting the program as Penelope Pressure Pot, a church lady who clearly believes, “It’s all about me.”

With an almost imperceptible change of jacket, hat or headgear and glasses, Arnold transformed into four more characters: Sylvia Supporter, Octavia Organization, Esmeralda Evangelistic and Ardis Arthritis.  Each woman, it was clear, was a stereotype  of someone in many churches, but in spite of their negative impressions, each one’s particular gifts could be used to advantage. Ardis, the oldest, crippled with arthritis, carrying a cane and self-effacing, gave each one credit in her quite feeble, almost whiney voice. Before judging them all, she said, “First I need to look at myself.”

Arnold, herself, concluded the 25-minute drama with dance and song that expressed a spiritual message, as the arthritic Ardis said, “I look to the Lord for my next step.”

Professor Amy Oden from Wesley Theological Seminary greeted the group by saying, “There’s a lot of sacred wisdom in this room,” and to bring it out she had the women break off into pairs and for two minutes, each would share something of her wisdom with the other. She shared her own story of what, after several days of testing and hospitalization, turned out to be a massive rare heart attack in her mid-40s. She then spoke of the “things I’ve learned that my heart attack taught me. “

·      Stop waiting for the right time. The right time is now. The antidote for waiting to accomplish one thing so as to move on to the next, is gratitude, she said. “God’s blessing is here and now.”

·      Embrace my limits. “God is infinite, we are not,” she said. “Our calendars are gluttonous and that’s a sin. If your calendar is too full, take some serious prayer time and ask for limits, she said. “God made limits holy by becoming human and living among us.”

·      We have different seasons of life. The “seasons,” will depend on age, on job, on family life, health, but in each season, “we need to follow the fruits of the Spirit. … and give attention to these things.”

Her own big challenge in this season of her life, she said, was deciding to step down as Dean at Wesley Seminary. Her heart requires 2½ hours of exercise every day. “I felt like I can’t do this, but I’ve not only survived, I’ve thrived. When I stop waiting for the right time, when I embrace my limits,” and pay attention to the season now of my life, “I can do more than just survive. I have Christ in my life.”

Two breakout sessions, one for clergy, one for laity, explored the causes of stress in their respective lives, and what helped one to de-stress. The Rev. Carol Yokum with the clergy discussion and Sharon Leatherman facilitating the laity, asked, “What are the top five stressors and what are the de-stressors?”

After 45 minutes, Sandy Ferguson helped the two groups together summarize what they’d learned. And they were remarkably alike. Both groups had many more than “top five,” but they both concluded that family and aging parents/children were near the top; finances and unemployment; time management (too many committees or church meetings) and knowing oneself and the limits one has were big stressors.  “I am not superwoman,” one lay person said.

To alleviate the stress or “de-stress,” suggestions from both sides included prayer and meditation, exercise, accepting help from others and support groups. And as one lay person said, “Eat ice cream!”

“These are words of wisdom,” Ferguson concluded and the group prepared to share in Holy Communion together, led by the Rev. David Roberts, a member of COSROW, who used litanies, liturgy and music focused on women.