BY LINDA BALES
SPECIAL TO THE UMCONNECTION We simply must do better. I was 16 when I first witnessed the results of domestic violence. My best girlfriend, Brenda, lived with her mom and step-dad, and it was my custom to go over to Brenda's house after school. We lived in a middle-class suburban white neighborhood in Ohio, and home-based violence was something that was foreign to me. One day after school, I visited Brenda's house, knocked on the front door and her mom opened it. When I looked at her, I could barely speak. Her entire face was swollen; her eyes, slightly opened, were surrounded by puffy black and blue skin. In her meek voice, she opened the door and invited me in. Brenda shared the story. Her step-dad had gotten drunk and had beaten her mom unmercifully. Her jaw and spirit were broken with one or two fell swoops. Brenda's mom was a churchgoer. I wondered if her pastor ever spoke from the pulpit about violence in the home and whether her pastor ever offered respite for those who might be experiencing it. I wondered. The General Board of Church and Society of The United Methodist Church names domestic violence as a priority issue knowing that our institution has been too silent about this 'pandemic' happening not only in the United States, but around the world. The statistics are horrifying. One out of four women experience some kind of abuse in their lifetime. The abuse occurs in communities of every racial composition and every economic status, in rural areas as well as cities, in families adhering to every religion and to no religion. Silence will no longer shield us from our complicity in the violence, nor from our failure to overcome it. We acknowledge the ways in which misinterpretation and misuse of Christian Scriptures and traditions have contributed to violence against women and children. A re-examination of those misused passages can help us reclaim traditions in ways that support victims and challenge abuse in the family. The church is challenged to listen to the stories of victims and survivors and to seek information and gbwc_superuserance that will lead to wiser and more effective ways to minister with persons who experience domestic violence and sexual abuse. The church must be a refuge for people who are hurting, and it is an entirely appropriate place for these issues to be addressed. Justice-making involves several steps: righteous anger; compassion for the victim; advocacy for the victim; holding the offender legally and spiritually accountable; treatment for the offender; and prevention of further abuse. We stand with those who have paid the ultimate price and with those who suffer as we speak. Linda Bales is director of the Louise and Hugh Moore Population Project at the General Board of Church and Society. She can be reached at
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