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BY MARK SMILEY

Luke 11:1-13

I am in the enviable position of being the father to two teenage daughters (although sometimes it feels unenviable).

They bring me moments of deep joy and moments of utter frustration. Thank God, the joy overcomes the frustration – but there are days, as I am sure those of you who are parents can understand.

The hardest thing for me to deal with is when one of them asks for something over and over again when there is absolutely zero chance that I am going to fulfill her wishes.

Sometimes the angle of the question is a bit different, and the conditions may change, but the basic desire is still one that I cannot, in good conscience, fulfill.

“But Daddy, pleeeeeaaaasssseeee! I’ll do X, Y, and Z if I can just have (blank),” they plead. Or, I might hear, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me!” Whatever is said is often punctuated with tears and loud noises.

And all throughout my heart is breaking.

I love my daughters more than I can possibly describe. I would gladly give my life for them. They are jewels in my eyes, precious gifts from a loving God.

I am not in the least bit worthy of these gifts. But God has lovingly bestowed them upon me, and I am endlessly grateful for God’s grace and mercy.

And yet these gifts come with tremendous responsibility. My wife and I are stewards of these great gifts, managers of the treasures that are our daughters.

We are not called to throw these pearls before swine, to set them free in a world full of evil and destruction before they are mature enough to resist. Instead, we are called to give good things to them, things that enhance their lives, not endanger or waste them. “Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish?” (Luke 11:11).

We are called to shape and mold our daughters, to prepare them for that day when they will step out on their own and themselves begin to be stewards for those who will follow them.

Saying “no” to those we care about hurts. It does not come easily to many of us. It certainly does not to me. It breaks my hurt to cause pain to someone I love. And yet, because I love them, I cannot say “yes” if I know that it could cause even more pain in the future.

We ask God for things all the time. Some of them are good for us, many of them are not. Perhaps, if we’re honest, we admit that we pray sometimes for great health, great wealth, a better house, or even a better spouse.

Romans 8:38 tells us that nothing “can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” If God loves us this much, then surely God’s heart must break when the answer to one of our prayers has to be “no.”

Part of spiritual maturity is learning to accept God’s often mysterious “no” while listening for God’s ever more powerful “yes.” And that “yes” is that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from God’s great love.

The Rev. Mark Smiley is senior pastor at Hiss UMC in Baltimore.